It's over.

I feel like I'm losing myself, more so today than any other day. In the presence of others, I appear fine, happy even. But when I'm alone, at home, my mind keeps wandering. Everything feels fake. I got no mood to do much. No mood to study. Promos are on me, and I still really can't be bothered. Something's wrong, no? Exams no longer have an effect on me. It used to make me anxious and nervous, but now the start of exams is just another day to me. Wake up, shower, go to school, lunch, come home, use com. Sleep. Repeat.

Feels like a robot. Feels like a dumb, mechanic robot. Maybe I should be the one who sleeps and never wakes up, not you. You have much more to live for. I'm aimless now. And really, I have myself to blame, for making stupid, wrong choices. My fault anyway. I really can't wait for my own room, so I can do my own things in peace without worrying about my brother peeking or shooting me weird looks or whatever. I do need privacy. And the only privacy I get is .. the toilet. Pathetic. Yes, pathetic.

And now I feel like writing fanfics. Wrong time, wrong time. And I never complete them anyway, no idea why I bother starting them. Maybe just to quench my thirst for writing. Oh well.

Disjointed. I feel, detached.