It's over.

i am NOT popular. i am NOT more cared for.

i dunnoe more ppl than you. i only noe the ppl in na cos i was THERE. i noe the ppl lik lelia, genn is bcos they're in my cca. at least xian neng noes who you are. i doubt he even noes my name.

and who likes me? as far as i noe, im not pretty and my personality isnt exactly charming either.

i wann to join in the laughter too. but i just cant bring myself to laugh and catch up with you guys. im always left behind. i cann nber join your world. apparently, im stil the na girl. the outsider.

your attitude pisses me off sometimes. you always feel you're inferior whn you're not. thats the way you FEEL, not the way it is.

i get jealous too, whn you get all the attention. but im used to it. im the quiet one. whn i get quieter thn usual, ppl take a longer time to realise it. being left alone helps sometimes. sometimes im jus too lazy to talk, but ppl take it lik im dao-ing them, ignoring them, making ppl think im pissed whn im not.

i wonder sometimes, if i wasnt born, wld my parents be happier? wld they hav lesser amt of stress? but since im in the world, i cant do much except do gd in my studies and not let them worry. sometimes, i wonder if i died, if i ran away from home, wld they worry abt me? or wld they just leave me alone and concentrate on my bro. cos they seem to lik him ALOT more thn me. bcos i dun get the attention i need at home, i TRY to get the attention from friends. but sometimes, it just doesnt work. sometimes, i just wann to take my rusty penknife and just slash my wrists, but i dun hav the guts to do tht. so i take it out elsewhere. lik throwing stuff arnd, using my pen and jus drawing lines on my hand, enjoyin the pain. i draw, but it turns out lik crap. and i shred it and regret it ltr.

i didnt say much abt your eyes, i dun care if you're pervertic. my eyes are small too. im pervertic too. jus maybe not as much as you? so? i dun care.

take you away, and im left with nth.